Wednesday, December 14, 2011


This week Drinking Stories welcomed its 20,000th visitor. 20,000. That's like the population of Hammond, Louisiana. I didn't mean that to sound impressive. Much like the population of Hammond, Louisiana, I'm pretty sure many of my visitors are related. My parents, my sister, and ex girlfriends wondering if I'm venting their dirty laundry into cyberspace almost certainly account for a hefty percentage of my readership. Still though, 20,000 feels like a milestone.

Wilt's 20,000 was a bigger deal...both times. Hey-O!

It's been a big week for the blog. Delusions of grandeur danced in my head as "Heisman Eve or Why Baylor Fans Can Wait For Tomorrow," fueled by a number of much appreciated links on Facebook and Twitter, found a niche readership (let's be honest, anything associated with Baylor is likely prefaced with the word 'niche') and attracted close to 200 visitors the first day it was posted.

I was on the cusp of something. My article just needed to find its way to the right email account or Twitter account or Facebook account and someone with the authority to do so would offer to publish it. I'd reach a mass audience! Drinking Stories would blow up! Muahahahahahaha!

None of this happened.

After RG3 hoisted the Heisman (Do work, Son!), time sensitive articles written in the perishable space between him being named a finalist and him winning the award lost much of their relevance. Who knew? Over 200 visits became under 20 visits in 24 hours.

It was during this time that Drinking Stories welcomed its 20,000th visitor. Rather than the cosmos and some strange synergy conspiring to make said 20,000th visitor the literary benefactor I had previously imagined, reality and karma conspired to make said 20,000th visitor some unsuspecting high school kid in Medford, Oregon. This is sort of like a Victoria's Secret store all geared up and ready to roll out the red carpet for its millionth customer and Hugh from the bowling league sheepishly saunters in looking for edible panties.

"Y'all got cherry flavored?"

And for what, you ask, was my milestone searching?

"storys on drinking"


Well, it is what it is.

*Ahem* Here's to you, Oregon High School Kid! Congratulations on being the 20,000th visitor to Although I'm fairly sure you didn't find what you were looking for, I hope you at least learned the proper way to spell "stories." If I ever do make any money as a writer, no matter how much, I will be sure to send a portion of the proceeds, in the form of a ceremonial, oversized check, to your school's English department in recognition of your boredom driven, unintentional accomplishment. Thanks for keeping me firmly grounded in reality.

1 comment:

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Better than a millstone . . .

Jeffery Hodges

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