I couldn't make this up.
Hello, thank you for calling Domino's Pizza, the number one pizza delivery company in the United States. We are currently hiring motivated and responsible people to join our delivery team. Please stop by the store for more information!
If you would like to hear our daily specials, please stay on the line. Otherwise, press 1 for the first available customer service representative . . .
Today we are offering one large one topping pizza for six dollars with the purchase of one order of blazing buffalo wings for six dollars and one order of breadsticks for six dollars. There is a three order minimum to make this offer valid.
We are also offering the Domino's five, five, five deal. You can get one medium one topping pizza for five dollars and each additional medium one topping pizza will cost you only five dollars. There is a three pizza minimum to make this offer valid.
Not that hungry? You can get one large three topping pizza for $12.99 or, as long as you pick up your order, one medium one topping pizza for $5.99.
Lastly, if you would like a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, please call 1-888-NEEDHIM.
Thank you and please hold for the next customer service representative.
Does Christ count as one of my toppings on the large three topping pizza for $12.99?
I have to move.